Something

I'm sharing this cause I feel violated about it.

During my last hospitalized I was in restaints and seclusion alot and shots too. Like my leg still hurts from a shot if you hit it. Anyways for the first 2 and a half weeks I was in there seclusion.  I would self harm. Even in the seclusion room I even banged my head so hard it busted open bleeding. I would attempt suicide with my pants til I even passed out.  This is why they would sometimes restaints me in my bra and underwear.  That's why I felt violdet cause it be a male staff watching me with only a bra and underwear on and I'm female with a history of sexual abused.  I know he was just doing his job and if idudnt try to keep killing myself maybe it wouldn't of happened. It was so bad that I had 3 to 4 shots of thorazine a day cause they were trying to find a med to help but in the end they have.  I'm now on Clozaril and lithium and depokote.  So yeah  I hate the side effects but at less I'm getting better.